Monthly Archives: August 2012

Head space

My wonderful partner took the kids away this weekend to spend some Quality Time with Grandma and Grandad (and, more importantly, Grandma’s puppy).  I was left to my own devices, with strict instructions to relax and find some inner peace already.  I confess I’ve not been functioning at anywhere near my best for quite a horribly long time now, so this was a great opportunity to stop playing Blind Man’s Buff with my life and get my mojo back.

I started my weekend by thinking on one quote from the ever-inspiring Eleanor Roosevelt;

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Doing nothing scares me.  Wasting time scares me.  Not getting everything done scares me.
But I ended up my weekend with quite a different quote, although also from Eleanor. More on that at the end, but what of my three (yes, a three-day weekend, ain’t it great?) days alone?  I think I can sum it up in two lists.

What I did this weekend:

  • Lay in the sunshine in the Botanical Gardens.
  • Went to my first Rollerderby bout
  • Walked in the park
  • Did my embroidery in the Botanical Gardens
  • Watched a mediocre film
  • Cleaned the bathroom
  • Made lemon chocolate brownies
  • Untangled my life-plan
  • Went to an art exhibition I thought I wouldn’t like
  • Ate Chicken Kiev
  • Remembered what’s really important.  And what really isn’t.

What I didn’t do this weekend:

  • Worry about being back in time to do dinner
  • Worry about heading home from the park before the kids got tired and fractious
  • Tidy the house
  • Stop my day at regular intervals to make sure everyone gets breakfast/snack/lunch/dinner/a drink
  • Feel guilty about wasting a good evening watching a mediocre film
  • Check the vegetarians/chicken-carers didn’t mind me eating the flesh of a slaughtered hen
  • Keep checking the time
  • Grocery shopping, with or without children in tow
  • Sort out any arguments
  • Make sure I only did/saw/went to things I knew would be brilliant, because anything else would a waste of valuable babysitting
  • Keep my head so full of mundane, essential tasks there was no room for anything else.

Yeah.  Now that’s inner peace already.  I know where I’m going now.  Still not entirely sure how I’ll get there, but hey, I only had three days, I think I did pretty well!

“I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.”