I’ve been meaning to share this for a while; here’s a little game for you. Do you hate crowds? Does the idea of shopping on a Saturday, bumping around with the consuming masses, getting stuck behind slow people, getting pushed out of the way by impatient people, fill you with despond? Yeah well, me too. But ‘Splitting’ can make walking with the hoi polloi a bit more bearable – hey, maybe even fun, it depends on your entertainment threshold.
It is usually a private game, played inside your own head, and the rules are simple. Split people up without them realising. For example, you’re walking towards a couple of friends, or a group of teenagers. Keep walking, in a purposeful way, and walk between them. You’ve split! Obviously you can’t barge people, that would be rude – and cheating; just walk purposefully enough that they automatically, subconsciously, part to allow you through.
Allow yourself a little private Yesss in your head, and keep going. Now, some people will not split, they will subconsciously decide that it is you who must walk round them, and so be it. Don’t force it.
I can’t remember where I read about this, it was ages ago, but the proponent said his proudest (and boldest) split was a line of nuns in Antwerp Cathedral. So yes, I guess it helps if you’re a little bit strange.